Found as I ever know
by unkeptrosa
Summary: five years later since Jump Street, things changed and were lost until one day... Tom/Doug..  character paralysis
1. Chapter 1

**Alrighty then, this is the first chapter to check if anyone likes it for me to carry on. There will be lots of chapters and hope the story comes out good so. My writing is not perfect but hope you like it... reviews would be very much appreciated. No slash by the way :D **

It's been five years since Doug Penhall left Jump Street to look after his adopted son, Clavo who was too young to look after himself, was six years old. Clavo was old enough now so he was able to go back to police work to manage all the odd hours. He went back to join undercover work but not back at Jump Street because he looked older. His hair was thinning to baldness and winkles were beginning to seep through so he wasn't attractive enough to look seventeen anymore. He joined another undercover unit which didn't evolve around schools but gangs and drug dealing. It was ok, but sure was more difficult than Jump Street. He remembered having a lot of fun there. He fooled around like a little kid and could get away with it!

He missed his partners because he hadn't seen them in a long time. Especially Tom… he had no contact what so ever. Tom disappeared and never came back leaving a scruffy note on his desk that said 'I had left, don't look for me' and that was it. No reason and not even an apology. He drove as quickly as possible to Tom's apartment after he seen the note but the house was empty. Everything was gone and it looked like another strange apartment. He knew why Tom left though; he said he couldn't stand another day being a cop anymore. He couldn't stand lying and ruining criminals lives by sending them into prison. He believed they would come out more screwed than going in and what was the point of it? He was also speaking of himself because he went to prison on false charge for shooting Bud Tower, a man who sold guns. He was released with found evidence but came out broken and disillusioned. He was distant and hardly spoke anyone. Doug saw he was troubled because he was getting thinner and skin deathly pale… it frightened him, especially how painful his eyes were. They were lost, lifeless, nothing like the soft eyes he had before that twinkled like stars… But still, he was very angry how Tom could leave like that. They were best friends, almost like brothers and did everything together, looked out for each other, trusted each other and he loved him…. And Tom promised he would check with Doug first before quitting. Couldn't he have confided in him about his troubles rather than running away from it? Doug tried to help him, only being pushed away. Looking after Clavo too didn't help any because he didn't always have the time. He still missed Tom greatly. He would think about him sometimes in the day, dream about him, embarrass himself by thinking some people were him in the street… it was like Tom was dead and he didn't exist in the world anymore but only in his heart. He couldn't ever forget him, no matter how hard he tried. He wondered, maybe Tom was dead? Maybe tried to stop his troubles by committing suicide? He hoped not. If he did, he wouldn't want find out. He still wanted to believe he can find his face appear amongst the crowd of people down a street one day.

Maybe one day it'll happen. Just maybe…

**Short but will get longer next. Thanks for reading. **


	2. Chapter 2

**You're going to hate me for what I've done to Tom! But what can I say, you guys got me into Tommy Torture :P I guess it's because I, we love him so much we want to hurt him? I wish there was a scientific answer… Anyway, read on! **

One winters evening it was the 8th of December. Doug wore a long black coat which was the warmest of his clothing. He dug his gloveless hands deep into the pockets of his jeans to avoid the bite of the cold. He walked along a street going the way towards a shopping centre hoping to buy Christmas presents for Clavo before Christmas day comes. Clavo asked for some computer games and a skateboard which he of course he had to get because he loves him so.

He saw some people looking cheerful walking past, holding bags of presents already. Around him looked beautiful. Soft Christmas music played in the background, unknown where and specks of snowflakes fell from the evening blue sky down onto the glittering icy ground. Music of Silent Night started to play. His eyes moved to faces of one person to another, taking note of their warm smiles that he felt upon his own face. Christmas was such a homely season. There's a reason why people should smile.

His eyes moved onto another person. That person was sat in a wheelchair across the road on the edge of the curb. He seemed to be saying something to people who went by but they seemed to ignore him. A frown appeared on Doug's face. It looked as though this guy needed help and they weren't helping. Christmas doesn't always replace the bad things. If no one would help, he was going to! He waited for a clearing space at the road and ran across to the person in trouble. He could hear his voice now.

"Can someone help me please? Please I'm stuck!" the man pleaded in distress.

Doug's heart ached for this man. He offered help "hey need help? What's wrong?" he asked up from behind him.

"My…my wheelchair is stuck on the kerb…" the man said, sounding embarrassed.

He saw the wheel was stuck in the drain so he lifted the chair gently and it became unstuck.

"Thanks…" The man said quietly but approvingly.

Doug took a good look of the man. He had a beige scarf around his neck and a blue cotton blanket over his lap. He looked small probably because he was so thin. He saw he had a youthful looking face. He recognised it. It's someone who means a lot to him.

"Oh my god" Doug said shrilly and felt chills run up and down his body. The man's face was Tom Hanson! Tom was looking at him now; open mouthed and eyes wide like some mirrored reflection of each other. This must be a mad trick playing on his eyes…right?

"Doug?" Tom stammered.

"No way!" Doug said aloud in surprise. He cupped Tom's face in both hands, not believing his own eyes "it's you Tom? It's really you?" he asked to make sure, make sure he hadn't lost his head! His heart was beating so hard…Happiness and shock swarmed in his body like bees.

"Yes it's me" Tom's voice cracked as his eyes filled with tears. Doug removed his hands from his face and instead gave Tom a tight hug instead. Tom returned it gracefully. It was amazing; it was like a special dream! He had been waiting for this moment for so long, to see Tom Hanson's face again…have him there before him happy to see him too. Their tight hug stopped time and the outside meant nothing. Tears prickled in Doug's eyes. The hug was better than the one they had when Tom was released from prison; longer and more emotional. They were like brothers again and the past didn't exist anymore. His careless note left forgotten… It was a minute or two after they finally slipped out of the hug.

"I thought I'll never see you again…" Doug whispered.

"Me too…" Tom whispered too "I'm-I'm sorry…" he apologised sorrowfully.

"For what?" Doug asked, shaking his head.

"Leaving…I didn't know what to do…" Tom said guiltily and lowered his head.

"It doesn't matter, I'm over it. We found each other again. It…doesn't matter" Doug replied truthfully. True, because he was too happy to see Tom again to be angry or care.

Tom rose his head again "yeah… though I kinda imagined you would punch me in the face seeing me again" Tom grinned.

"Hey, you know I wouldn't do that to you" Doug said and pretended to punch Tom, brushing his face lightly. Tom's brown eyes twinkled like stars. How he missed that…

He studied Tom's face; it was the same as it ever been but sharper cheekbones. There were only just faint wrinkles but still almost looked under twenty. He could still go undercover in at least colleges if he wanted to – except… Doug's eyes lowered to the wheelchair he was sat in. This was the biggest difference of Tom. He returned his gaze into Tom's eyes, wanting to know why… Tom wasn't smiling anymore. He looked ashamed and embarrassed and wouldn't look into his eyes anymore …

"Funny…I nearly forgot I wasn't stuck in this for a moment…" Tom's voice cracked emotionally.

"Me too…" Doug found himself say "what happened?" he asked curiously.

Tom opened his mouth "I…I...g-got shot. In the back 6 months ago…" he replied shakily. He lowered his head, still not meeting Doug's eyes "Because my spine was damaged it severed the nerves…Left my legs paralyzed..." he said.

Doug was lost for words…he was upset and angry this happened to Tom. He felt sick too, his gut twisted in a knot and felt bile rise up his throat. It was terrible to hear.

"I can't walk…never again I can…" He let out a whimper and then his back jerked with sobs.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…" Doug apologised and rubbed Tom's back to comfort.

Tom shook his head as if saying no and his breathing became rapid, choking on his sobs. He had never seen Tom cry before, not like this. It had only saw his eyes prickle with tears in the past - that was it. Doug looked back and saw people who were going past were staring. He hated when people stared into private business, especially at this time… their eyes saw nothing but interest. "I'm going to take you somewhere quiet, ok?" he told Tom and took hold of both handles of the wheelchair and wheeled him past people. He found a nice spot away from people near a park. He wheeled Tom there by the glittering grass. Tom had his arms wrapped round himself, head bowed. "Hey…" Doug said softly. He pushed Tom's longish hair that was covering his eyes.

Tom looked up; eyes tear filled and cheeks damp. "I'm sorry…" Tom said sheepishly, voice thick "that I lost it back there"

"It's ok" Doug smiled.

"I cry an awful lot lately…since you know happened. Feeling nothing left of myself…" Tom said openly.

The words killed Doug hurtfully. It was difficult to hear.

"If you wouldn't have helped me out of the flipping drain then I would have been there all night… People passing looking at me as if I'm a freak not a person" Tom muttered with spite in his eyes.

Doug shook his head "you're not a freak" he said gently.

Tom rolled his eyes "I know that but I look like one when I'm stuck in this ugly wheelchair. My legs are helpless and numb. I hate the sight of them. I hardly look at them anymore. It just makes me feel like a freakin' fish!" he snarled at himself. He shut his eyes trying to calm himself down. Then opened his eyes again looking shameful at Doug "I'm…sorry. I shouldn't say these things, they hurt, don't they?" he said.

It was true, it did hurt hearing it but Tom shouldn't apologise because whatever hurt is on his mind. In his heart should be let out to make him feel better.

"That's what Mrs Simon tells me…" Tom saw Doug's confused expression of the name he didn't know "she looks after me" he explained. Doug nodded solemnly. "So um…what about you? How's Clavo?" Tom asked.

"Clavo is fine, all grown up! And I'm still working undercover" Doug said.

"I like to see Clavo again" Tom said enthusiastically but then he sank in his chair "if he wouldn't mind seeing me…" he said sickly, the thought of Clavo being uncomfortable at the sight of him and seeing he had changed.

"Of course he wouldn't mind" Doug insisted. Clavo wasn't the kind of kid to judge, Doug taught him that. Tom wasn't looking at him now, facing the right, distantly. "He wouldn't mind" Doug repeated "perhaps I could make you meet him very soon" he promised. Tom didn't flinch. "Tom…?" Doug called softly.

"No…" Tom said coldly "forget it. I'm gonna go home". Doug was taken aback by his icy tone. It was Tom again when he was back at Jump Street, when wanting to quit at that time. He used to be cold towards him, saying things he didn't mean but sometimes would apologise the next day which helped keep the friendship less awkward.

"I'll take you" Doug offered.

"No!" Tom snapped at him looking straight into his eyes with his fiery own.

Doug was more hurt than shocked at his request. Did he forget that they were so happy meeting each other around ten or fifteen minutes ago? Now he wanted to leave him, again.

However, soon Tom's eyes grew soft "I didn't mean it Doug…I didn't know, I didn't know what I was saying" he said tearfully.

Doug was confused. _He didn't know_? He recognised this behaviour before; five years ago back at Jump Street. The ghost of Tom was still there. "It's…ok" Doug said, sounding unsure "I can take you home?" he asked.

Tom nodded, back to his old self again.

"Ok just tell me the directions while I push you" Doug said flatly.

"I can push myself you know. Push the wheels along with my hands" Tom muttered.

"Fine then" Doug said, letting his annoyance show through.

"I was just _saying_ - I still want you to push me" Tom stated.

Doug exasperated and took hold of the handles to push Tom along.

"You sound mad at me…" Tom exclaimed.

"I'm not mad" Doug assured.

"You are. I'm used to people mad at me though. Especially Mrs Simon, she complains I'm stubborn and an annoying pest. She is too but sometimes I agree with her. I do hate myself, first time I admit it. So it's ok for you to be mad at me. I left without saying goodbye. How heartless am I?" Tom rambled.

"You're not heartless" Doug found himself say.

"I am, my girlfriends in the past told me when I dumped them and they dumped me. I do know it and can't help it" Tom said.

"Shouldn't you think about the good things about yourself?"

"I try…but right now can't find anything. I sit around every day feeling sorry for myself" Tom replied.

"Where now?" Doug asked, trying to make him change the subject because it hurt to hear. He didn't want to listen anymore. He wanted find him happy with a good life…

"Turn right" Tom replied.

On the right was a path full of shoppers again. They were staring at Tom already. Tom must have seen this too "I begin to hate people because they stare or sometimes they just not look at me in the eyes at all. In their thoughts they must be saying poor guy…or happy I'm not stuck in a wheelchair like this crippled guy" Tom said bitterly, not caring the people overhear. This intrigued Doug.

"Who shot you?" Doug asked suddenly.

"I don't know…I didn't even see. I was shot in the back so… I guess it could have been one of the criminals I busted. It's stupid though because I had quit being a cop. I thought after I left I can rest and not be any danger any more, not be hurt. Now look! I was wrong. I should have carried on being a cop and I'll be protected. I've done so many stupid things in my life…This one the stupidest"

"It wasn't your fault" Doug assured. Tom didn't know he was going to be shot, did he?

"It's quitting being a cop that is my fault and you know what I believe? There were so many times I was in danger during being a cop and I always had broken free of them, sometimes coincidently. And I believe it was my father who saved me like a guardian angel. He didn't save me from being paralyzed because he might have been angry I stopped being a cop because he wanted me to follow his profession, follow his footsteps" he said.

Doug thought it sounded ridiculous. His father sounded like a good person who loved Tom very much. He wouldn't go against Tom like that. But he did believe his father must be watching over him. People who are gone shouldn't be gone forever.

"Where now?" Doug asked again. "Um left; won't be too long till we get there" Tom replied.

Doug pushed him down a peaceful empty road. "Don't you think your father made it a coincidence to make us meet again?" Doug asked with a smile.

"…Maybe" Tom murmured.

**Reviewwwwwws please : ) **


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry hadn't written in a long time – got writers block:/**

**Ok, now you know it's Tom who's paralysed.., please pardon me if I get any facts wrong with the condition. I had a bit of research; reading forums and watched the movie, born on the fourth of July so I can get proper understanding but not sure I covered some things. I see also there is already a story here of Tom having waist down paralysis in story, "single bullet" so I credit, "DeppsLadyRosebud" which story is way better than this story I'm not afraid to admit =) **

Later, Tom halted Doug to stop him when they came to some brightly painted bungalows. "Here…" Tom said, pointing to a blue painted house. It was pretty. It had flowers in the front garden and a white wooden fence around it.

"It's nice" Doug commented.

"Looks like a grannies house" Tom slated.

"Tom!" Doug whined. He wondered, does Tom see anything as beautiful?

"Get used to it, just I miss my other house, my apartment but I had to move here" Tom said.

Doug wheeled Tom along a smooth stone path to a white door of number 22. The door was unlocked and Doug wheeled Tom in. Inside was pretty inside too, very neat and homely.

A middle aged lady appeared from out of the kitchen wearing a stricken face. She had a plumpish body and had a towel in her hand. She would have to be Mrs Simon Tom was talking about. She looked at Tom and looked at Doug "who are you?" she asked. Her voice sounded flat and serious, not welcoming at all.

"He's my friend, Doug" Tom answered for him. "He was my working partner when I was a police officer"

She falsely smiled. "I didn't know you had any friends!" she said.

_Ouch, that wasn't nice_, Doug thought. How could he stand her?

"What's your name?" she asked Doug. He answered her. She nodded.

"well sorry, but I think you should go. Thomas will need a bath" she told Doug.

Tom sank in his seat embarrassed "I don't want one…" he pleaded.

"How many times have I told you not to say no to me?" Mrs Simon asked angrily.

Doug backed off "I see you again soon maybe? I always will remember this door" he said to Tom. Tom looked at Doug with pleading eyes "please see me again, don't forget me" he begged. "I promise" Doug said and left.

No, he wasn't going to forget Tom. He didn't want to lose him again. And the fact he's newfound in a wheelchair didn't change his feelings towards him. He was still Tom no matter how angry and helpless he was at himself. He wanted to help him. Continue the friendship like it was before. Best friends forever.

He had to go anyway because he needed to get back to Clavo. He didn't manage getting Christmas presents though, maybe another time.

Back home he greeted Clavo who was reading a magazine on the couch with a ruffle of his hair. He was a handsome more than cute now he had grown older. "Hi dad!" Clavo said happily. Clavo chose to call him dad even though he wasn't really.

Doug sat on the couch next to Clavo "how was school?" he asked.

"Good, someone stunk out the halls with stink bombs!" Clavo laughed.

Clavo fit in well in school with good friends and grades which made him glad as strived his best to be a good guardian to him.

"Hey, you never guess what happened today, who I met?" Doug told Clavo excitedly.

Clavo perked up with interest "who?" he asked

"Tom Hanson. Remember Tom?" Doug asked.

Clavo thought for a minute. "Was he that guy who used to visit a lot when I was little?" he asked.

Doug nodded "yes it was" he said. Tom used to visit a lot and play with Clavo… that was until he left.

"I liked him" Clavo smiled "I still remember how he looked like" he said thoughtfully.

Doug didn't really want to mention that Tom was in a wheelchair now; it seemed unfair… it would be as if saying that Tom being in a wheelchair made a big difference than he was now…Which didn't…really.

"I remember you said he couldn't see us anymore. I wondered why" Clavo said curiously. When Clavo was small Doug didn't tell exactly why Tom left because he knew he wouldn't understand. He thought he might get upset if he said he just left because he wanted to. Making him feel betrayed too. He can tell the truth since Clavo was older.

"He just had…some troubles. Took time to take care of it" Doug explained.

Clavo leaned forward as if sharing a secret "you mean he was crazy?" he asked.

'Crazy' was a straightforward way of saying it and it surprised him. He never really thought Tom was _crazy_ just…troubled, if that made sense.

"I was thinking that you could meet him again" Doug said.

"Is he still crazy though?" Clavo asked.

Doug frowned, he didn't like Clavo calling Tom crazy "no and you know he wouldn't hurt you. He never did"

"No" Clavo agreed.

"It'll be like the old days won't it? Tom and I'll be close again and you two would be messing around" Doug smiled.

Clavo nodded slowly as if he was unsure. "Why do you want to go back to the past?" he asked seriously.

Doug couldn't find any answers. Clavo was a smart kid.

But then settled with one reason, 'because it's there'

**I'll update more better now. Thanks for reading this chapter**


	4. Chapter 4

The following day, Doug was excited to go meet Hanson again. When Clavo went on the school bus early morning, Doug went out too to locate Hanson by ordering a taxi. Although it was early morning he didn't care and didn't think Tom cared either. He should feel desperate to see his face again since yesterday as he was.

He excitedly knocked on door, number 22. … The door opened and he saw Mrs Simon, "oh it's you" she said unenthusiastically.

"Can I see Tom?" Doug asked.

"A little early don't you think?" she sneered.

Doug turned his head and saw his taxi drove off "I can't turn back now…" he stated.

Simon saw this too and from her face, she looked like she gave up. "Ok… Thomas is in the living room" she said. She let Doug step in the house and led him into the living room. He found Tom sitting in his wheelchair at a table having breakfast. Tom dropped his slice of toast in surprise when he saw his friend standing there.

"Hey Doug!" he greeted. He used his hands to wheel back apart from table.

"Hey, good to see you again" Doug greeted back walking towards his friend. Mrs Simon stepped out of the room.

"I was afraid you wouldn't see me again, really" Tom said surprised.

"You noob, I promised!" Doug laughed.

Tom smiled ever so faintly. Doug looked at three uneaten pieces of toast "mmm" he said ravenously, feeling his stomach beg for hunger. He was too excited to meet Tom to eat this morning.

"You can have it if you like" Tom offered.

"You sure? Thanks" Doug replied and picked up a piece of toast to eat.

It was ok between them to steal each other's food. They always used to do it…well, mainly Doug because he had always had bigger appetite than Tom. Doug savoured the buttered toast "mmm…" he expressed.

Tom laughed "you make me realise how much I missed you!" he said.

"_What?_ I'm hungry!" Doug joked. He looked at what Tom was wearing, a black shirt that had 'Top Gun' titled across it which is from a movie. Then he saw he was wearing pyjama like trousers. It was loose fitting but he could still see Tom's legs were sitting limply on the wheelchair rest. He shuddered. He quickly looked away before Tom saw where he was looking. "Mrs Simon isn't very nice" he said quietly to break the silence.

"I'm used to it though but yeah I do hate her most of the time. I wanted my mom to look after me but she refused, saying I'll be too much of a handful" Tom replied darkly.

"Oh…sorry" Doug apologised.

"I had too many sorry's these past months so stop saying it" Tom said icily.

"Ok…" Doug replied softly.

Tom shot him a glare then turned away with a big sigh.

Doug hated when Tom changed his moods, it was annoying but also scary of how unexpected it changed. "I'm gonna use the toilet. I'll be back" Doug excused. He did need the toilet but also thought it would be good to step out of the room so Tom could collect himself together.

Tom leaned back heavily in his seat feeling miserable and guilty for snapping at his friend. He couldn't help it, he couldn't stop himself either. He just felt sick and helpless.

He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. His back was beginning to ache. He usually asked Mrs Simon to help him out to rest on the couch but he couldn't do that when Doug is around… it would be embarrassing. …Not being able to do a simple task for oneself. He could do it himself. He could… how hard can it be? He wheeled himself a bit closer to the couch to make it easier. His heart was pounding against his chest and his hands were shaking but he tried to ignore it. Pushing down both hands on the hand rests of his wheelchair he lifted all his weight forward to get on the couch… He gasped and cried out when his hand slipped off the hand rest and he slumped down onto the floor next to the couch… "Oh god…" Tom cried helplessly. He pushed himself up with both arms but his legs were heavy on him and he wasn't getting anywhere. He grabbed hold of the couch seat trying to lift himself up again. He fell back down helplessly when he knew he wasn't going to get anywhere at all.

Doug came back into the room and saw Tom's chair was empty… he wondered if Simon had took him somewhere or something but then he saw a figure slumped on the ground beside it face forward… His heart hammered against his chest in panic thinking Tom had hurt himself.

"Tommy?" he called, kneeling down beside him.

He heard Tom's quiet little sobs and his back moved with each of it. "Oh Tom…" Doug said softly putting his hand on his back. Tears filled Doug's eyes but he blinked it away. This was bad. Tom _was_ helpless.

"I…I can't do it!" Tom cried.

"Can't do what?" Doug asked softly.

"I…I tried to get myself on the couch…" Tom replied.

"I'll help you" Doug offered. He put his arms under Tom's and with his strength, lifted Tom up and onto the couch. He surprisingly light but maybe Doug couldn't tell because he was muscly from working out. He saw Tom's face wet with tears "I only wanted to do some simple task and I failed…" he sniffed "I'm so helpless… a damn fish" he scowled looking down at his limp legs.

His heart and gut ached for Tom. He should of have deserved this… Tom would have to live with it for the rest of his life with no cure… He felt like embracing Tom in his arms and protect him from the darkness of this world…make him happy again.

"Did you hurt yourself?" Doug asked. Tom shook his head no. Doug sighed in relief and went to sit next to Tom "you could of asked me to do it" he said.

"I wanted to do it myself for once" Tom replied "I'm sick of being incapable of moving around like some rag doll".

"I know" Doug said softly.

Tom sat back with a sigh. After a few minutes of silence, he spoke again, "have you seen Judy and Harry and all that lot recently?" he asked.

"No, I lost contact, I mean separate ways. I still have their numbers though" Doug replied.

"Why did you?" Tom asked, surprised. He thought he was the only lost contact.

"I left Jump Street not long after you, to look after Clavo" Doug replied.

"Things…do change a lot don't they?" Tom muttered "I mean you never know, Harry or Judy could be dead"

"Or they could be married and have kids" Doug joked, to give Tom a thought on the bright side.

"Oh man, I hope Judy isn't married. I've always wanted her to be single!" Tom joked.

Doug nudged Tom playfully "me too!"

"Could Jump Street still be standing?" Tom questioned.

"I'm not sure. It is a very old building. Last time I saw it, the walls were beginning to crack and the unit…quite possibly still around, I don't know" Doug answered. Doug shifted to get more comfortable but felt something hidden inside the couch. He took the object out and found it was a bottle of alcohol nearly half full "whoa" he said in surprise. Tom took it from Doug's hand "it's mine"

"So…you drink now do you?" Doug questioned, sounding disappointed. He knows many people drink to solve their problems but it just doesn't.

"Yeah got a problem with that?" Tom said… McQuaidly. He opened the bottle cap, raised the bottle to his lips then drank it down. He closed his eyes as the drink burned down his throat. When Doug thought it was enough he took the bottle away "stop that!"

Tom wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and laughed foolishly "you're the responsible one now". He meant, back then Tom was always the responsible one when it came to difficult situations, the smart one but now he was into drinking and Tom Hanson doesn't drink. Doug shook his head, smiling at his friend. "But why drink?" he asked.

"Takes the pain away…inside I mean" he said.

In the past he knew Tom didn't drink much, didn't smoke either. "Do you smoke?" Doug asked.

"What are you, Mrs Simon?" Tom sneered "but yeah, sometimes. Wouldn't you if you were in my shoes? Hmf, I don't think you would even what to imagine it!" he tried to joke.

"Stop saying those things…" Doug said quietly.

"What am I supposed to say? Every day is freaking shit" Tom said bitterly.

"Well it hurts to hear it" Doug scolded.

"But I can't tell this to anyone! When I meet people if I'm lucky, I have to pretend I'm all happy when I'm not" Tom said "like when I was back at Jump Street when I was hurting, I pretended I was ok, faking laughs, faking smiles…" he mumbled.

"I don't want you hurting like this" Doug insisted "I never did" he added, thinking back Jump Street.

"I know… but there's one good thing…that you're back. It gives me hope. You're special to me because you never seem to give up on me. You're something in my past I can still have. You're the only person who I really know who cares about me now…" Tom said, eyes glittering "and when I saw you again yesterday my fake laughs and smiles were real for the first time in years…"

Mrs Simon came into the room, "what the hell is this?" yelled seeing the bottle of alcohol. It must have looked like Doug had bought alcohol with him.

"It's… mine" Tom admitted.

"I thought so!" she grabbed the bottle of alcohol off Doug who looked stunned by her actions. "You were drinking behind my back?" she asked Tom angrily.

"Yeah, because I know you would take it off me!" Tom shouted.

Doug winced, this was serious.

"And that's exactly what I'm going to do!" she shouted back. "You should go" she told Doug. She left the room probably to get rid of the alcohol.

"I need to go out and buy some again" Tom mumbled since Mrs Simon stole it away from him. She seemed to want everything perfect and treats the home like it was hers. Made it her style too…

It's wasn't fair It was his own body and he wasn't a kid.

"Where are you going to hide it this time?" Doug grinned.

"Good question" Tom mumbled. "Could you come with me to get another bottle?" he asked.

"Tomorrow... It's best I'll go because that scary woman might kill me" Doug joked.

Doug helped put on Tom's coat and they went outside in the biting cold. Tom took out his fingerless gloves out of his pocket and put it on then took hold of the wheels himself to push himself along. "How long are you going to be with me today?" Tom asked.

"All day if you like. I have work starting soon, I had a little time off" Doug replied.

"You still work undercover right?" Tom asked.

"Yeah, not yet though. Waiting for a case to pop up" Doug replied.

"Yeah, I know the feeling…"

They were going down the street now. Doug was walking a slow pace Tom was at. They chatted about Jump Street, how fun it was together and being their favourite cover, the McQuaid brothers. They were good times and the memories of it seemed…colourful, really to life like childhood memories.

Walking down just three streets, Tom seemed to be out of breath. He wheezed and sweat managed to bead on his forehead despite the cold air. "I'm…sorry, I can't… go on anymore" Tom said breathlessly.

Doug took hold of the handles and pushed Tom himself.

Tom arms were aching and really tired. However his heart and breathing was not, they were fast paced, rapid. "I don't know why, I seem to get tired within just three streets. Out of breath easily… Got so bad I stopped going to exercise training the doctors offered. They just said I was lazy" Tom explained.

Doug thought it was ridiculous, how could they think he was lazy? He looked exhausted before him! He thought people weren't very nice to him, like Mrs Simon, for example. Doug put his hand round Tom's thin arm "you have no muscle" he said.

"I know that" Tom replied, shrugging out of Doug's hold "_I told you_, I get out of breath easily, I can't work out" he said.

Doug looked down at Tom's skinny frame that worried him. He wondered Tom was slow because he had no energy from not eating much. He didn't tell Tom this though, maybe another time.

They were down the busy street then Tom motioned to a liquor store. "Think you can get it for me? I can't fit the chair through the door…" Tom asked pleadingly.

Tom was right, he couldn't because there was a door wide enough for a person to walk through, not a wheelchair. Tom gave Doug money. Doug looked down at the money in his hand, unsure what the hell he was doing "ok… but a small bottle" he said. Tom was about to protest but Doug went in the store. He thought it was stupid that Tom drank but bought it anyway because he didn't want to let him down.

When he came back out he saw Tom was nervously looking at the people's faces. "Here" Doug hanged the bag on Tom's wheelchair handle.

"Thanks…" Tom thanked, looking far away.

"What's wrong?" Doug asked of Tom's behaviour.

"Nothing…I just want to go home" Tom replied quietly.

"Ok…" Doug replied. Doug knew something was wrong or something happened because Tom was silent throughout the journey back home. "What happened?" Doug asked suddenly breaking the silence. "Nothing" Tom replied again. Doug sighed and left it. He wasn't going to push him.

Tom had a sudden thought while waiting outside of the liquor store; he had a sudden thought that someone would be out to get him, to harm him. He didn't know who shot him and he must be still out there, waiting for him…to finish his job. His eyes wondered with fear to the next person the next. He clutched at his coat in anxiety. Thank god Doug came back. He felt so afraid alone.


	5. Chapter 5

-Flashback-

_Gentle, soothing wind brushed against Tom's hair as he walked along an empty dark street. The air was warm and sweet smelling of the month of summer's June. He had finished work at seven at the bowling alley. He had an ok day but it was better than working at Jump Street. Sometimes he would clean the bowling balls allowing himself to think for once. People didn't expect him to try harder than he could. He didn't regret having the job even if it's far from being good as police work. He did regret though, not saying goodbye to Doug. He didn't want Doug to see him hurting so he broke the friendship. He felt sick of himself for doing that but thought it was better off. One more day at Jump Street he would have fell from the edge as each day he was getting closer and closer to it… He looked up at the full moon that stood out from the black sky. It was so bright, it glowed on Tom's face. He thought the moon looked beautiful despite the face of terror on it. It made him feel calm inside. He hadn't noticed the moon in a long time. When in Jump Street, he didn't have the time to gaze up to it, even forgetting it existed every night. Tom smiled and he felt it, through his body and heart. He knew it wasn't fake, that he held up with for years since his dad died. _

_Suddenly, a shot rang out deafening the silence of his thoughts. He was pushed forward to his knees by something powerful hitting into the centre of his back. He felt agonising pain, raging like wildfire but he couldn't scream. He was too cold, too numb, too tired to scream. However his mouth was gaped open, sharing the same face of terror the moon had that he still had his eyes locked on. Silent and still as the moon… Something wet and warm was surrounding him. He limply dropped his head and saw a growing pool of red blood of his own. It was strangely getting closer to his eyes…he realised he was falling and slumped down onto the ground. He could hear his rapid breathing and the pounding of his heart. He believed he was going to die. Laying there he thought about how his mom would feel if he was dead. She lost her husband now she might lose her son. No, he didn't want to die to make her hurt again. Then he wondered if his dad could be waiting for him, up in heaven, if there is one. He wondered if he deserved heaven as he had done so many bad things in his life. He closed his eyes as darkness swept over him. Guess he would have to find out…. _

Tom stared out of the window at the bright full moon that stared back. It was the last thing he saw before he was paralyzed waist down. He shuddered. It happened every time he stared up at the moon because the expression of terror reminded him of the incident. He looked down at the bottle of alcohol in his hand Doug brought for him. It was the size of his hand and wasn't drunk yet. He wondered if he should. He usually drunk alcohol to take away painful memories and make him feel calm. He would have thought now's a good time but he remembered what Doug told him six hours ago before he left, _"promise me you won't drink all of that"_ Doug had said seriously. Tom didn't say anything, the promise was shown in his eyes. He couldn't break another of Doug's promises again. He couldn't… He hid the bottle in a wooden cupboard behind a huge ornament of a colourful bird sitting on a stump. It was a good place where Mrs Simon wouldn't find it, he hoped. She didn't go near the cupboard much. Last time he drunk was four days ago so he could get to sleep without dreams he could remember. He hated when he dreamt about himself walking again because it just made him wake up crying. He also hated nightmares he had about being shot that day. He used to love dreaming; now he hated it. He thought of it as a nightly torture. He punched his fist in anger into his leg which of course received no pain. He thought, he should have appreciated having legs to walk before this happened. Appreciate having to do things so easily… He felt bitterness to himself to when in the past he was able to walk. He would give anything to have that back. He wondered why it had to happen to _him _and why did the bullet go to his spine of all places? He pinned the blame on his dead father because he hadn't found the other reasons…

Doug held the phone in his hand. His heart pounded in his chest. Was he really going to do this? He let his finger punch in the numbers. He waited…

"Hello?" a woman's voice answered. Doug's heart leapt in excitement. He heard her voice again, same as it ever were. "Judy? This is Doug Penhall" he answered, nervous of her reaction to him calling her after all these years. Yes, he contacted Judy again because he felt because he found Tom, he should find the others to make them friends again like when they were a team during Jump Street. He felt they shouldn't forget the Jump Street times. It's better to make memory of it longer.

"Doug?" Judy's voice almost screamed. Doug laughed down the phone because of the sound of her reaction. "How are you?" she asked.

"I'm fine thanks. I wanted to call…I was thinking we should me up again you know? I mean all of us" Doug explained.

"Oh my god Doug, really? I was actually thinking about that myself a few weeks ago" Judy replied excitedly.

"So we have Fuller and Harry to call yet maybe Sal too!" Doug said.

"Yes! ...what about Hanson?" she asked in a low voice, unsure if he would ever to be founded.

"I got him" Doug exclaimed.

"Really? How is he?" Judy asked sounding very surprised since Tom left without contact.

He couldn't say that Tom has a wheelchair now like some gossip. "…he's fine" he lied. When they meet up she'll know though… "I met up with him three days ago in the street" Doug said.

"That's very lucky!" Judy exclaimed. Besides the fact it was Tom's wheelchair he saw first…

Judy told him about her life at the moment, that she was married and trying for a baby and she still works at another undercover unit. She said she still sees Fuller so he might agree with it but she said she wasn't sure about Harry. She hadn't called him for years too because his number didn't work… they didn't know if they can find Harry at all but he wondered if he might see him in the street one day. When he hung up, weight lifted off his shoulders. He felt so good going back to what was lost and forgotten. It was like contacting his high school friends again.

The next day, Doug excitedly went to Tom's place and told him what he what he thought of and did yesterday, but it wasn't the reaction he expected - Tom said no, a straight out no. "I don't want to be part of it and I don't want to see them again!" Tom demanded.

"Why?" Doug asked angrily. He was angry that Tom didn't agree with him. He badly wanted this to happen to make them team again.

"I'm not part of it anymore I ran away" Tom replied folding his arms stubbornly.

"So did I Tom. We all left!" Doug replied.

Tom unfolded his arms "you don't understand!" Tom shouted, tears glittering in his eyes as he said it "and I think you should see me less too" he added.

Doug balled both fists angrily. Tom was being unfair. He was wussing out with the idea of them being friends again!

"You don't understand…" Tom repeated seeing Doug angry before him "things are different now. Open your eyes Doug, what do you see in front of you? A cripple, an infant; a guy who doesn't know when he needs the toilet, who can't simply get himself on the couch…the guy who just feels sorry for himself everyday…"

Yes, it's true but before his eyes he still saw his best friend "but your still Tom Hanson" he said out of his thoughts.

"I lost recognition of that name long ago Doug. I'm nothing"

Doug felt angry again that Tom was letting himself down "jeez Hanson, why can't you look on the bright side? It's not as if your whole body is paralyzed!" he argued.

"But it damn feels like it!" Tom shouted and purposely knocked over a vase that was sat on a table. It dropped on the beige carpet with a thud then water slipped out of the vase creating a pool on the carpet.

Doug looked at it for a moment then looked up "I'm not going to leave you" he insisted.

Tom bit at his bottom lip staring at the forming pool of water reminding him when his blood formed around him.

"You hear me?" Doug said when Tom didn't respond. He thought he might be ignoring him. He knelt on his knees so he was eye level to Tom "I'm not going to leave you" he repeated.

Tom wasn't looking at him, staring at spill instead with a blank look on his face. He moved Tom's stubborn face to him "I'm not ok?" he said.

"Ok…" Tom whispered in reply.

Doug was relieved Tom agreed on that one. Now there was another agreement, "so you'll meet Judy and Fuller, maybe others?" Doug asked hopefully.

Tom shook his head "I can't…" he said "I don't want them looking at me thinking, aw the poor guys life is over" he explained.

"But they know you for you. They knew you before this happened and I don't believe your life is over" Doug said.

"Why didn't you tell Judy I was crippled?" Tom asked suddenly.

"I _told_ you why, because I didn't want it to seem like gossip!" Doug replied.

"So….so it wasn't because you felt ashamed of me?" Tom asked.

"If I was ashamed I wouldn't have asked you to meet up with them again" Doug assured.

"I'm sorry…it's just for the last six months I had people looking at me as if I'm a freak and, and I saw Davis… he didn't say anything but I saw in his head he was laughing at me…" Tom said facing away from Doug. Davis is a mayor and he once tried to shut down Jump Street. Everyone hated Davis.

"Hey, Davis is an ass. You know Judy, Fuller wouldn't laugh at you" Doug replied.

Tom knew Doug was right but he felt…scared. He hated people's reactions to when they know what happened to him. When he told Doug he couldn't help crying because Doug was the first person he had told openly what happened to him. He didn't tell people who he meets what happened, just let them guess for themselves. If he met his friends again he didn't want to helplessly cry in front of them when he explains. He didn't want all their eyes on him not knowing what they are thinking in their heads… Besides thinking about himself he thought meeting them would be nice. He wanted to see them again. They were good to him. But fear rose up to him at the thought of meeting them again…

"How about you meet Clavo first?" Doug asked. In Tom's mind was, no, no, no! He loved Clavo but he assumed young people are the worst of understanding. He was sick of being judged. "I come round later and bring Clavo" Doug offered.

Tom sank in his seat wanting to swallow up and die "do me a favour and tell him I'm crippled before he comes" he mumbled.


	6. Chapter 6

Meeting Clavo again turned out ok after all. Before, he was nervous and freaking out about what Clavo would think but once he saw him, he forgot about himself. Clavo was all grown up close to turning a teenager. He was three foot taller than he last saw him and his face had changed from cute to handsome but still recognisable as Clavo. He had natural tanned coloured skin, a styled side fringe and a sweet smile. He wore jeans and a green shirt with a number seven printed on it.

"Hi!" Clavo greeted confidently, holding out his hand to shake. When Clavo he was little used to say "hola" as hello when he saw him because he knew Spanish more than English. He wondered if he knew English more than Spanish now. He was surprised by Clavo's politeness of holding out his hand but he ignored it and automatically squeezed Clavo into a hug. He wondered how the hell he could abandon this sweet kid when he left Jump Street. He used to be named his uncle, why didn't he act like one? Tears prickled his eyes. He loved Clavo. He broke from the hug, placing both his hands on Clavo's shoulders. Clavo was smiling. "It's good to see you again" Tom said warmly. He let go.

"I remember we voiced toy figures and made them walk about, annoying dad" Clavo laughed.

"You remember?" Tom asked happily. It was funny, Doug hated it when he played the toys with Clavo because he would make them say inappropriate stuff like 'I'll shoot you in the foot' sort of things and make them fight. Though he couldn't help it, he loved acting like a little kid with Clavo because his childhood was the most happiest.

"Yeah, that was seriously annoying" Doug mumbled in the background. They both looked at Doug and laughed. Doug rolled his eyes.

Meeting Clavo had made him a bit happier and he got a positive thought that it's going to be ok seeing the Jump Street team again. He wondered if Doug will right, that they know him so they wouldn't judge him. He saw Clavo had a light shining around him. When you're young you have it. Tom's was dimming. Over the years the light around you becomes weaker, faster if the shadow would overcome you when all the bad things line up. But sometimes it can get stronger. His own light was beginning to.

"_Hi Doug, it's me Jude. Fuller agreed to go. He's excited about it as I am! Is it ok to meet tomorrow? Maybe at The Nines which is two streets away from the Jump Street Chapel, remember it? It'll be great! See you Doug, bye" _Spoke the answering machine.

He knew where The Nines was. It's a pub where they used to hang out in the evenings after work sometimes. He called Judy and agreed to it, setting the time five in the afternoon. He remembered that Tom wanted Judy to know what happened to him before seeing him so he did. After he said Tom was paralyzed waist down because he was shot, there was silence on the other line except from a faint small cry. At least he thought it was.

"Jude? Jude, answer me" he called.

After a little sniffle on the other line Judy finally answered "I can't, I can't believe it!" she cried.

Doug sighed realising Judy was crying. "Sorry I didn't tell you straight away. I just want you to be normal around him" Doug explained.

"How…How can I do that Doug? She asked tearfully.

Doug frowned "see him as the same person" he replied. He expected Judy to cope better with this. She was caring and he knew she doesn't judge. "Will you tell Fuller? I don't want him freaking out too" Doug asked.

Judy said yes and soon. "Is Tom unhappy?" Judy asked.

"Yes, a bit" Doug replied. A lie, he was unhappy a lot actually.

"Yeah…that's what I'm afraid of; seeing him unhappy like his life had been robbed from him" Judy admitted.

Doug would have to agree. He felt uncomfortable when Tom snarled at himself, saying he's worthless…

"Ok, ready?" Doug asked when they escaped out of the bus on their way to have a reunion. Tom took the wheels moving slowly as slow. Some people went past overtaking them. "Want any help?" Doug asked, impatient from the speed. Tom stopped with a sigh and let Doug push him.

"How often do you eat?" Doug asked.

"Why?" Tom asked, annoyed rather offended.

Doug leaned and moved his face close to Tom "you know why" he murmured in Tom's ear.

Tom swatted Doug away as if he was an irritating fly. "Mrs Simon makes sure I eat so it's not your job to worry about that"

-Three months ago-

_Simon studied Tom's thin arms and bumpy back and sighed "your still not eating much are you?" she said. _

"_I don't want to eat. I'm sick of eating" Tom replied stubbornly. _

_Mrs Simon was taking aback what he said "it's my job to take care of you, if I don't I lose it. You know that don't you?" _

"_I don't care…" _

-_End-_

"And do you? All of it?" Doug asked suspiciously.

Tom laughed "talking from the guy who stole my toast!" he said.

"Ha you got me. But seriously you should eat more. I wouldn't mind buying thousands of chocolate bars for you" Doug said.

"Save it till Christmas" Tom joked.

"You're eating soon, ok?" Doug pleaded.

"Yes mom!" Tom replied sarcastically.

Doug huffed because Tom wasn't listening to his concern making it seem like a joke. Ah hell he___is_ going to make Tom eat today, that's for sure.

"No way!" Tom said aloud halting Doug into a stop in surprise.

"What is it?" Doug asked.

Tom pointed to a huge building with lots of windows. Inside it looked like a business sort of place because through the windows there were people at their desks working away on computers. He didn't see anything wrong.

"That's the chapel! That's Jump Street!" Tom stated.

Doug didn't know what Tom was talking about. The chapel was boarded up and old and it definitely didn't look like this building right here. "Uh…No it isn't" Doug said uncomfortably thinking Tom might be losing his marbles on him.

"Do you thinking I'm retarded? Just because my legs don't work, my brain doesn't either! Look!" Tom pointed to sign on a brick wall of another building that said Jump Street.

The sign had always been there, Jump Street chapel next to it where…this new building is. Tom was right. "Oh my god" Doug uttered. He always thought the chapel will be there. Now it was all gone, nothing left of it. It was sad because it was like their second home. He worked there for seven years. They must have chucked their cool stuff out like the coke machine, pinball machine, lights, basketball net… It really was sad.

"How could they do that, throw our memories away?" Tom asked bitterly.

"I don't know…things change a lot in five years…" Doug replied.

"I hate it when things change sometimes" Tom muttered

"Doug stop, wait!" Tom demanded to stop Doug from wheeling him to The Nines door. "I don't think I can do this…" Tom said uneasily.

Doug leaned close to him "your with me" he said gently.

"I know…just–" Tom was cut off by a loud sound of laughter inside the pub. There was music playing inside, 'I wish it could be Christmas everyday' playing softly. Tom was going to say he was scared and felt embarrassed about himself but Doug started to wheel him in. He quickly grabbed hold of the wheel to stop Doug moving it but Doug was stronger and it only made his hand hit into the chair. "Ow!" he yelped and held his throbbing hand with his other.

"Sorry but it's your fault!" Doug argued.

"But I don't want to go in yet!" Tom shot back.

Doug growled then studied Tom's hand which was red at the fingers and knuckles, trembling from pain. "It's fine" Tom muttered, rubbing it with his other hand.

"Ok…" Doug replied "why won't you go in?" he asked.

"There are too many people in there. What if they recognise me? And well…I'm also nervous seeing Judy and Fuller too" Tom admitted. All he thought about was going home right now.

Doug put his hand on Tom's shoulder "relax! By the end of the night you won't regret it" he said "I'm gonna move you now so don't get your hand trapped again".

Tom's heart pounded against his chest when he was wheeled into the pub. It was uncomfortably hot and there were lots of people sat around drinking. It was a huge pub that could fit sixty people in. Four was staring at him now making him shrink back.

"Hi!" Doug shouted out. Tom followed his gaze to see two people sat together in a corner. He instantly recognised it was Fuller and Judy. They stood up immediately when Doug called out to them and they rushed over.

Before Tom knew it, Judy leapt on him hugging him tightly. Her dark curly long hair tickled against his cheek. He missed her. He was begging himself not to cry. She broke away, smiling. She looked the same, still very beautiful. She wore a tight blue dress, black tights and high heels. "Hi Jude" Tom smiled sheepishly. He turned to Fuller. The only difference about him was a few more grey hairs. He wore a brown suit. Tom said hi to him ducking his head. He felt so self-conscious and shy right now…

Fuller nodded at him with a smile "never thought I'd see you again!" he said.

He guessed Fuller was very angry that he left without telling him six years ago… but they were probably all past that now. Fuller held out his hand to shake. Fuller wasn't the person to hug people. Tom accepted, wavering a smile.

"Where's Clavo?" Judy asked Doug.

"He's gone to a friend's house" Doug replied.

"Aw shame, I wanted to see him" Judy replied sadly.

Judy and Fuller sat back down. Doug took away the seat from the table so Tom could wheel himself there. "Get some beers?" Doug asked.

"Yeah I have just a coffee please" Judy said.

Tom watched Doug go and get the drinks so that he couldn't look at Judy and Fuller. He felt shyer when Doug is away from him. Something warm touched his hands making him jump a little. Judy was clasping his hands into her own.

"I'm really sorry Tom" she said "me too" Fuller said as well. Tom shifted uncomfortably and didn't say anything. "What happened to your hand?" Judy asked studying the red and purple mark on his knuckles.

Tom faintly smiled "Doug accidently made me trap my hand in the wheel" he said.

Judy tutted "Doug is still so clumsy!" she joked.

"Hey! What are you talking about?" Doug asked walking close to them holding the drinks. He put down the drinks on the table.

"I told Jude you made me trap my hand in the wheel" Tom admitted.

"I did not you little…" Doug jokingly threatened and lightly hooked his arm round Tom's neck.

Tom looked at Doug "but you pushed me when I didn't want you to" he said.

"Then you could have at least told me" Doug argued, slipping his hand out from Tom's neck he held.

"I did but you forgotten I didn't want to go in yet" Tom argued.

"I didn't forget!" Doug protested.

"Guys! Seriously, this is weird seeing you two arguing again" Fuller laughed.

Doug sat down next to Tom and passed him a small bag of what it said in blue letters, peanuts. Tom took it, eyebrows furrowing in confusion "what's this?" he asked.

"Peanuts, what do you think? The name is right there" Doug pointed sarcastically.

"I didn't ask for peanuts, why did you give me peanuts?" Tom asked.

"I want you to have it of course" Doug replied.

"But I don't want peanuts!" Tom insisted.

"You love peanuts!" Doug argued.

"Oh guys, please!" Judy laughed.

"He started it!" Tom accused Doug.

"Yeah, by giving you peanuts" Doug laughed.

Tom sighed then smiled. He felt more comfortable here now. He felt like he was sitting at the table just like everybody else. He hadn't been to a restaurant or pub since paralysis. Even though the chapel was gone, he felt like he went back six years and was having beers in The Nines after work with the team… Judy was right, this is weird!

"Do you know the guy who…did this to you?" Fuller asked, breaking Tom's imagination of himself back in time when he walked.

Tom lowered his eyes "no…" he replied.

"Must have been someone you busted…" Fuller assumed.

"No use wondering who it is. He got away with it..." Tom said bitterly.

Silence… Tom picked up his beer and let the burn of the bitter liquor flow past his lips and down his throat, hoping the drink will calm his anger.

The three of them were talking again, something about Christmas. He didn't join in which made him feel left out, the odd one out because three of them can walk and he couldn't. "I hate my life because my job is crap and my wife hates me" – Tom heard a man complain somewhere behind him. _Well at least you can walk_ Tom thought bitterly. The man has no idea how much pain and struggle he goes through with this disability… Tom would wake up in the morning in the same position making him wonder why he gets up at all…

"Hanson" a voice called.

"Huh?" Tom answered absently, broken out his thoughts.

"You ok?" Fuller asked.

"Uh yeah…I was uh just thinking about things" Tom stammered.

"About what?" Fuller asked, concerned.

"Um nothing important" Tom lied. Fuller nodded slowly.

Tom saw his friend's drinks were finished. Last time he saw it was above half. He must have been thinking too much passing the time quickly. Doug went and came back with another round of drinks.

Tom looked at his friend's faces and felt guilt shadow over him. They are his friends and all he's thinking about is himself and he must look like an asshole not talking to them. He began to talk, asking them how they were. Their lives seemed to be easy going and they were happy. They talked about the chapel, about it being knocked down, but their memories weren't. They talked about all the fun times they had till they collapsed with laughter.


End file.
